Relationship Oerview

Relationships

Men & Women: An Overview

Part I Section 2

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Relationships

Part I. Introduction

Section 1: The Best Mirror

Section 2: Men and women are different - an overview

Part II. How do we feel loved

Section 1; How does a woman feel loved

Section 2: How does a man feel loved

"Love is a continuous sensitivity and an infinite trust"

Yogi Bhajan

Every child creates an imaginary figure who compensates for the errors of their parents. When we fall in love, we think we have found a match to our fantasy figure. Unfortunately, our unsuspecting partners are rarely as marvelous as these internal creations. And so the drama of marriage begins. Men and women are so different that its hard to understand and be sensitive to the things that matter to the other.

As an introduction, we'll talk about the differences between men and women - combining the work of John Gray (Men are from Mars) with a yogic approach according to Yogi Bhajan's teachings.

Men

At the root of a man's psychological structure is the desire to be competent and the fear that he is not. In essence he is always trying to find opportunities to prove himself, usually through achievement and power. In addition, he is ever alert to the slightest hint of criticism from his wife, which might mean that he isn't "good enough" in her eyes. He can be ultra sensitive to the possibility that his loved one might think he is less than wonderful, or that she might think him responsible for something bad.

Ultimately, a man must seek his own internal understanding that he is "good enough", but-

in the context of a relationship, the ultimate way that a man knows

that he is good enough is when he recognizes that

his partner (you) are truly happy with him.

It doesn't matter what you say or do -- it matters what you feel.

A woman's grace creates this understanding. Its your grace, your forgiveness and your affection that he seeks. If a man senses that you are unhappy, or that you disapprove of him, he feels so depressed that he would rather not live.

Women

At the root of a woman's psychological structure is the desire to be loved and the fear that she is not worthy of love. In essence a woman seeks the continuous experience that she is with a man she can trust to provide love and security for the rest of their lives. She seeks communication, mutuality, beauty and the communication that she is worthy of love. In addition, she can be ultra sensitive to the possibility that her partner might not find her worthy.

Ultimately, a woman must seek his own internal understanding that she is lovable, but-

in the context of a relationship, the ultimate way that a woman feels

secure and knows her husband loves her is through his

trustable actions, his listening, talking and little deeds.

You communicate that you value her by being faithful, taking the time to listen to her problems and by talking about your life. Also, when you help her with the daily chores of life, she feels loved. When a woman doesn't feel you love her, she will try to bring out love in you, by overdoing chores. Eventually, when that doesnt work (as we'll understand in later sections), she becomes exhausted, angry and shut down.

Many of the ideas in these articles are from the combination of John Gray's work "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" and the teachings of Yogi Bhajan, who also has written many books.

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