relationships

Relationships

Introduction

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Relationships

Part I. Introduction

Section 1: The Best Mirror

Section 2: Men and women are different - an overview

Part II. How do we feel loved

Section 1; How does a woman feel loved

Section 2: How does a man feel loved

This is a two part series designed to help you understand your partner in new ways. In Part I we'll look at some of the psychological underpinnings of relationships. In Part II, we'll try to understand how men and women are different and, based on those differences, how each feels loved.

The Best Mirror

“Life is a memory that we did it together through good and bad… That last moment when

you close your eyes and your wife comes through and you say ‘Darling, good bye, I’ll wait

for you over there. We’ll do it again. …And she says ‘Don’t worry, my darling –

my prayers will hold you in good care.” Yogi Bhajan (1986, 147)

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The ultimate purpose of marriage is establish a lasting trust and a subtle awareness of each other, in other word, to merge with each other. One soul, two bodies. When marriage is good it heals our past and gives us the satisfaction of sharing the fun and the troubles of life with another person. Unfortunately, many things get in the way.

Inside each of us is a whole world of characters. And very often the very things we dont like in others are the faults we have in ourselves. As we wrote in Radiance & Victory, A Woman's Way to Prosperity, "Our energy attracts the same energy to us. Our internal dialoque creates an inner personality and this in turn creates a pattern of life."

Inside a Woman

Inside each woman is a Prince Charming - the man of her dreams who will make up for all the things her parents didn’t do. Today’s garden variety Prince Charming is handsome, always happy, helpful and caring. Unfortunately for the real man in her life, she is always comparing how he behaves with what Prince Charming would do – clearly the real man will come up short.

A woman is ruled by her hidden agenda - a small girl inside a grown woman who is asking for help. Perhaps her father rejected her, or looked at her with too much sex in his eyes. There are so many ways for a powerful parent to wound a child. Inside the grown woman, her little girl is still hoping to heal the pains of her past by working these same issues out with her unsuspecting husband.

Inside a Man

Similarly inside a man: inside every man there is an "Imaginary Woman" - the woman of her dreams who will make up for all the things his parents (often his mother) didnt do. Today's garden variety "Imaginary Woman" is beautiful, always happy and helpful. She will always appreciate him and look lovingly upon him, no matter what stupid thing he has done. Unfortunately, for the real woman in his life, he is always comparing how she behaves with what the "Imaginary Woman" would do and clearly the real woman will always come up short.

A man is ruled by his hidden agenda - the small boy inside a grown man who is still looking for the acceptance of his boyish, impish self that he never received. Inside the grown man, there is a little boy who is fighting to heal the pains of his past by working out these same issues with his unsuspecting wife.

So They Fall in love

A man and woman meet and fall in love. Meeting can be hard enough, but its often the easy part! At first they fall in love. Maybe they are each perfect representations of their childhood dreams and traumas. Maybe they are soul mates from many lifetimes. Maybe its the fragrance. Or maybe each has the perfect charm and "look."

And Then They Marry

Once together, everything changes! And they react very differently. To learn more read Part I, section 2.